Failed Hipster

summer, a photo by laurageorge on Flickr.

This is from a Craiglist posting

Failed hipster - fixie must go - $1100 (SLO)

I tried so hard. I dated a girl from Portland. I criticized cheese. I applied the term artisanal to every inanimate object that went in or on my body. I burned and singed my forearms just to make it look like I was going to culinary school. I grew Carol Brady hair. I got itchy from the finest flannel and I cut off circulation from the waist down with jeans that made my ass look like an elevator button.

. . .And I rode a fixie.

No more. It's all gotta go. The hair, the macrame, the texting overages, the Netflix and Hulu Plus. The record collection (have you ever tried to box up and move an effin stack of LPs?!) . . .and the bike. Pictured below is the bike. It's beautiful. It's got red rims. Red chain. Red tires. Red handlebars shaped like devil horns -- because it's the devil.

The guys at the hipster store don't tell you fixes don't stop. So I will. Fixies don't stop. Stop sign? Fixie don't care. Car coming turning in front of you at a three-way stop? Fixie laugh. Want Chipotle? Nope. Fixie want protein powder/beet/purple carrot/bee pollen juice and won't stop till he gets it. Fixie has a mind of his own.

Yesterday, Fixie got pulled over twice by SLO PD in three hours. In six months time, Fixie collected more tickets than a scalper for a Radiohead show at Hollywood Bowl.

I'm selling this badboy and tipping the dregs of my last PBR tall boy in his memory.

Google Plus Circles

21 Google Plus circles you can actually use by Happy Place

I recently started using Google Plus and I'm really in love with the whole idea of it. You can actually share things (or keep things from) certain groups of people in your life. I'm even considering buying a webcam so I can try out the group video chat feature. I wish more people would switch over from Facebook.

Dads are the Original Hipsters

LOUIS, a photo by Jwhoward1991 on Flickr.

I just happened upon the blog, Dads are the Original Hipsters.  It's pretty amusing.  I never realized that with his Volvo and Ray-bans my dad was living the hipster dream.  Here's a sample post:

Your dad wore thick framed glasses before you did.

Hipsters, you’re probably looking at this photo and thinking,

“Holy shit are those original, vintage, classic Ray Ban Wayfarers. He better still have them because I’ve been fucking looking at every goddamn thrift store in the Mission for a pair like that.” 

But hear me out.

He wore those when he was bird dogging honies [sic] down at the Tasty Freeze in his GTO. So hipster, if you want to be like your old man, just go rummage through his old boxes in the basement for your own pair (here is a hint: they’ll probably be next the naked Polaroids of your mom.)

Check out the site to view the vintage photos which accompany each post.

More Ryan Gosling

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Handjob, Bland Job

Handjob, Bland Job, I Don't Understand Job - watch more funny videos

Sorry guys, I had to post this.

Indie Playlist

originally uploaded by youretheocean

I spend almost nine hours a week commuting. I don't listen to the radio, so that means I spend a lot of time trying to find new bands and uploading music to my iPod. A cool site I just discovered is Blalock's Indie/Rock Playlist. A new playlist is made each month and you can download all the tracks for free. Maybe you won't love every song, but it's a quick and easy way to get some new music.

Check it out and let me know what you think!

Doctors Blog About the Weirdest Stuff They've Removed From Patients

realclose, originally uploaded by _asphyxia_.

From Gizmodo:

Sermo, a members-only website for doctors, asked its doctor users to post about the strangest things they had ever pulled out of their patients. Then, they published some of the weirdest on their public blog. They are very weird, and probably mentally not safe for work. Here are some noteworthy ones, in ascending order of how much they disturbed me:

Allergist & Immunologist:
I once retrieved a plastic helicopter from a child's nose.

General Surgeon:
5 pens, 2 permanent markers, 3 straws, 2 toothbrushes, 4 Oreo cookie wrappers. All at the same time from the stomach of a patient.

Urologist:
At our hospital recently the general surgeons removed from the stomach a bound and gagged barbie doll that the patient had swallowed.

Pathologist:
Large zucchini (rectum). The spiral from a spiral-bound notebook (male urethra). Pencil (male urethra). Cigarette lighter (stomach).

Amazing Commercial

This is probably the most amazing commercial I've seen in a long time! It's a commercial for the weight-loss drug Xenical which aired in New Zealand. I hate the ending though! It makes me feel bad and I suppose thats the point, but come on! Are we really supposed to believe that only thin people live exciting lives?

Wes Anderson's Spider-Man

I'm a big fan of anything Wes Anderson and not that much of a Spider-Man fan, but I would totally see this if it were a real movie. Come to think of it, I'm not really that big of a fan of any comic book inspired movies, well, except for Ghost World.  Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this parody as much as I did.

Ninja Video Shut Down

A Distorted Reality., originally uploaded by The Vision Beautiful.

"Authorities at the Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) Agency seized the domains of nine websites that had been charged with illegally pirating first-run movies yesterday. But while the domains were taken down as part of ICE’s “Operation In Our Sites,” two of the sites have already reappeared just 24 hours later.

The sites TVShack.net, Movies-Links.TV, FilesPump.com, NinjaVideo.net, NinjaThis.net, Now-Movies.com, PlanetMoviez.com, ThePirateCity.org and ZML.com, had all bought their domains from US-based registrars, which had allowed federal authorities to seize the domains. The ICE replaced those domains with the following image, warning users that it is unlawful to distribute copyrighted information without authorization. . ."

(Read the full article by Ryan Lawler here)

Best Relationship Advice Ever

, originally uploaded by sasha nikitin.

I've been having boy troubles lately. One of my friends seems to be in a similar situation, and I like to read her posts on Facebook. My friend writes status updates that are really heartbreaking and often mirror my current feelings. In response to this, one of her friends wrote something along the lines of "Don't worry it will all be over soon." I assume that the individual was referring to the hurt she was feeling, but in my mind it sounds really fatalistic. Don't worry we'll all be dead soon enough. That my friend, is the best relationship advice anyone could give.

Internet Porn

(Via: Online MBA)

The Adaption to My Generation (a daily photo project)

Living My Life Faster - 8 years of JK's Daily Photo Project from JK Keller on Vimeo.

I find this kind of amazing!

Art Imitates Internet

i can has cheezburger, originally uploaded by ersatzsuperjew.

This photo is from the Lolcat art show. Who would have thought there was such a thing?

Just A Friend: The Literal Video

Does the voice over sound a little like Will Smith to anyone else?

Stalking to Pass the Time

Midnight feast, originally uploaded by Chrissie White.

I'm really weird and also in a really weird mood. I really can't describe it. I feel bored, agitated and angsty. I'm not sure why I sometimes feel like this, but it may be a result of drinking coffee or poor nutrition. Anyway, because it's night time (as it often is when I am in this mood) theres nothing to do. I thought I might look on Facebook to see if an old acquaintance was on there. So, let's just cut to the chase- I basically began stalking them. Well, I didn't go to their house or anything, but Google supplied way too much information about them. This made me uncomfortable enough to stop- well, to stop looking up this individual's personal information. You really would be surprised by what is out there on the internet!

I then looked up a childhood friend I lost touch with. She was really hard to find, but I managed to look up her brother. I was amazed by how much he looks like his father. Then because I'm a super sleuth, I managed to find my friend on Myspace. I was shocked to see her grown up. She looks almost exactly like her mom. Crazy! I mean I was so startled I felt sick! If I didn't remember what her mother looked like, I wouldn't have been able to recognize her!

I wonder if she would think I had undergone such a shocking transformation? I suppose that once you enter your twenties you start the disturbing metamorphosis of aging in which you begin to resemble your parents. YUCK!

Think about it!

Twilight on Facebook

SPAM email

'Tis the Season

Firefox is to Google Chrome

as Dial up is to DSL

Download it now!