Thursday, March 17, 2011

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

It's St. Patrick's Day and regrettably, I am not allowed to go to the Squire Room anymore. I'm not sure exactly why, but I did come up with a few possible reasons.

  • Falling on the ground then proceeding to lay there and stroke the carpet.  It seemed so soft and not at all dirty or disgusting while I was down there.
  • Getting a lap dance from a man and loudly proclaiming that it was the worst I've ever had.
  • Throwing a lit cigarette at a car.  The couple in the car were just discussing the lap dancing incident so I feel like this was justified.
  • Using the phrase "He has more money than Jesus!" This led to an uncomfortable conversation with the bartender in which he explained that Jesus didn't have any money and that he was loved by everyone. Well, except maybe me and J. Also, that K has the features of Jesus and a soft voice so you know he's a good person.  I was also told that I "lie every Friday" whatever that means.
  • Dancing badly to "Banquet" by Bloc Party.  I generally avoid dancing, being seen dancing, and drinking so much that I start dancing.
  • Showing up an hour before closing after drinking too much at another bar. Discussing the Animal Collective in a loud obnoxious manner. Swearing continuously. Rubbing people's matching short hair.

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