Today I heard back from my store manager interview at Target. I was offered an overnight stock clerk position. When I called the human resources department to find out if my application was in the wrong file, I was told that I lack the leadership qualities necessary for Target. I graduated with honors from a military school. FML
Today I went to Target to buy some soap, and a seventy-year-old woman next to me was asking a sales associate if they had any bubble bath mix. I suddenly pictured her naked, bathing herself, and my dick just couldn't stay still. I haven't had sex in almost two years. FML
Today I was excited because I was going to get my college decisions back. I put all of the letters in order of my preference. Didn't get into my first choice. Denied by my second choice. Rejected by my third choice. Wait-listed on my backup choice. Accepted for a job at Target. FML
Today I was working at Target when an elderly woman asked me if I could help her find her favorite bra. I proceeded to ask what brand it was. She replied, "I'll check the tag." She lifted up the front of her shirt and flipped one cup of her bra inside out. I saw everything. FML
The book is hilarious! You should definitely check it out or visit the website!